Premier League

• Big Bamboo SH Shooters AFC 8-1 Shanghai Japan FC
• Shanghai ReUnited 5-0 Shanghai 3United
• Shanghai United 3-1 Shanghai Krauts FC
• FC Oranje 1-4 Azzurri FC

First Division

• Voodoo 2-3 Shanghai Cosmos
• Long Tang AFC 4-1 Voodoo Child
• Anzacs FC 2-1 Kangbei United FC

SIFL First: 3 own goals in 1 match!

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Premier League

The Big Bamboo Shanghai Shooters AFC, back from their warm weather training in Bangkok the week before, were ready for Shanghai Japan FC andthe baking sun. For the first time in history they brought a squad that outnumbered Japan, a big help in the heat. 

Keen to keep the lead at the top the table the Shooters started well pressing high. After some combination down the right, Gui Leclercq laid a ball off to Wilson Scott who looped it over the keeper for 1-0. 

The second came soon after as Mike McGirr slotted home for 2-0. The third came via a Japan player as it deflected in off him from a Simon Moore effort and 3-0. Japan then managed to get a goal back via a Tomoyuki Hirai penalty. The half ended 3-1 to the Shooters. 

The second half began and the Shooters soon restored their three-goal cushion as McGirr nicely converted a free kick from the edge of the box for his second of the day for 4-1. 

Japan held on until the final 10mins when the flood gates opened with Leclercq scoring first from a nice back heel volley from a Daniele Baldo cross for 5-1, then turning home a low cross in the box for 6-1 before finding the net once more to grab his hattrick for 7-1. 

Then, Kevin Wiessler (#10) beat the offside trap to score the final goal to finish the game 8-1. Gui Leclercq picked up man of the match honors, Below: Loic Chudy, Leclercq, Kevin Wiessler and Simon Moore. 

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Shanghai ReUnited crossed swords with Shanghai 3United for the second time this season. The push for the title has revitalized the ReU squad and this time around they did better than their 1-0 win in their previous encounter. 

The early exchanges were quite equal before the ReU strike force slowly started to tell. Clear-cut chances were few and far between in the first quarter. 3U’s Nick Law dragged one shot wide while ReU’s Sascha Höltke hit the post after a scramble in the box.

ReU’s pressure kept 3U pinned back and when Alex Pozhar’s run forced an own goal ReUnited lead the contest 1-0. Another own goal doubled their lead to 2-0 and that’s how 45mins of football ended. 

In the second half, ReU’s pressure forced another own goal sending them up 3-0. Höltke then scored from a penalty for 4-0 and a close range finish from Adam Kling for 5-0 completed the scoring. 

Sascha Höltke picked up man of the match honors in his last match for ReUnited. Thanks for all those goals mate and good luck in Germany! New SIFL Record: 3 own goals in 1 match!

With this victory ReUnited is now three wins away from their first ever Premier League Championship. Herr Flick: “In the Park Tavern something came to my ears that the Shooters may have used illegal players.”

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Shanghai United locked horns with the Shanghai Krauts FC. Dictator Bilgin G. was there motivating his troops in different languages and frequently had to come to the rescue denying the fast United strike force. 

General Stoyan Atsarov (#30) was on hand as well and lined up behind the occasional Kraut free kick deep into Russian territory. The sun didn’t make it easier for the aging Krauts but they ploughed and soldiered on. 

The return of Danyl Bondarchuk fired up United and with the likes of Andrey Kravchenko, Mikhail Bobylev, Nikolai Filatov, Adil Temirkhan and legend Igor Tsudin to name a few, they simply over and outran the German defensive lines. 

The solid United performance yielded a goal and they went up 1-0, which was also the halftime score. Their dominance continued in the second half as United scored two more goals. 

Mirko Franco found the net for the Krauts for a final 3-1 United victory. Danyl Bondarchuk, Joe Mystery and man of the match Adil Temirkhan scored the goals. 

Danyl B: “We found a new sponsor with more than 6,000 fresh beers daily, lots of Vodka and free marketing for our Tsudin Moonshine brand.”

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FC Oranje were pitted against Azzurri FC. Oranje came with several new payers to try and turn the tide versus a determined Azzurri side. At stake was the Cages Cup. 

Most play took place in the midfield and Azzurri slowly encroached into Dutch territory. The pressure finally yielded when from one Italian attack the ball ended up at Anti Hintsanen who scored the 0-1.

Oranje created some chances and especially their midfield performed well. The Azzurri defensive lines stood well though and no more goals were scored sending both teams to tea with a 0-1 score line. 

Oranje’s new shoe number five Berto Mose showed up for the second half. No sooner play resumed of he fired a rocket from the edge of the box evening out the score at 1-1 and game on. 

In the next 10mins the Dutch pressed forward and created several chances. They took the game to Azzurri and the boys in blue were getting nervous. Then, from a fluent Azzurri attack, Hintsanen got the ball in the box near the back line being forced wide by a defender. 

He quickly turned while under pressure and lobbed the ball over the keeper for 1-2. Adam Kluger got in on the scoring for 1-3 and soon after that Kwame timed a long ball in the box to perfection heading it in for 1-4. 

With 10mins on the clock it was time the coach took to the field in match #586. It ended 1-4 with Imanol Des Valls picking up man of the match honors. Azzurri won the Cages Cup and the bus race back while Oranje booked another Third-Half@Cages victory. 

Above: Anti Hintsanen, Bertrand Mose, Adam Kluger, Tom Bus and Kwame Agyei-Owusu. Oranjeboom was there and all was wonderful!

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First Division 

Voodoo rocked up to Waigaoqiao to meet the highflying Shanghai Cosmosbut knew that it would be a tough task to bring them down to earth thanks to yet another threadbare squad cobbled together at the last minute. 

It might have been 9am but it was hotter than anything that the Oakham Curry Club have ever eaten and promised to be as tiring as reading one of their reviews. 

Things went from bad to worse when 13 men Voodoo saw that Cosmos had brought an entire galaxy of players. The league leaders were brighter from the off, creating chance after chance as Voodoo struggled to comprehend the basics of amateur football. 

Jack Greenwell sent Cosmos 0-1 up and they should have had more before Voodoo snatched an equalizer on the break through the in-form Evan ‘Mile High’ Kleinberg. Honors even at the half and a great advert for the league. 

Then, a severely depleted Voodoo midfield yielded a header from a goal kick that split the defense and allowed Adam Stringer to finish for 1-2. Voodoo did not give up as the in-form Kleinberg quickly became the not-so-in-form Kleinberg only to draw Voodoo level with a tap-in from Larry Olivier’s cut back for 2-2. 

Jonny Sellars then scored Cosmos’ third for 2-3 to secure all three points despite a frantic Voodoo finish. Sellars picked up man of the match honors. Jordan Campbell” We cant wait to the kick some ass in the Premier League.”

Jonny White (above): “The SIFL should adopt a new formula based on dividing the number of players on each team, their age and their shirt numbers rather than which side scores more.” 

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Long Tang AFC did battle with Voodoo Child. VC’s bid for title glory came to an end versus their bogey team Long Tang. The warning signs were there, 33 degrees accounted for Matt Eddy arranging a work event and sweet baby Jesus was out making history with his own batch of younglings.

Fat Nick, having been shopped for siphoning off lunch money from his students, couldn’t get them along. Nevertheless VC started out well and created a few chances. 

However, Long Tang with the understanding of the sun being very high took to the very productive system of ‘the pass’ over the top, followed up by quick lad running by and placing it in the goal, 3-0 was very quickly achieved. 

Things were changed up and young Doto Panda, highlighted as pacey and fit, was introduced. Yet another contender for Voodoo’s illustrious biggest liar award, being his main contribution. 

The second half was much more competitive and Paul Waller crafted a beautiful consolation goal that was put away by Santa Vardy for 3-1. 

Long Tang weren’t done and Joe Liar ‘marathon runner in any condition’ refused to run because was tired, gave Long Tang their fourth for a final 4-1 score line. Man of the match Guodong Jing scored a hatrrick while Yi Ding netted one. 

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The Anzacs FC crossed swords with Kangbei United FC. Anzacs started strong and had Jon Banks (#10) in the line-up. That turned out to be working very well for them most noticeably in the first 45mins of football. 

The Anzacs went up 1-0 via a Banks goal. He then scored their second from just outside the box due to Stu Bell’s excellent five-yard pass for the assist and 2-0 up for the Anzacs at halftime. 

Towards the end Kangbei scored a consolation goal via a Yang Zhouyuan strike for a final 2-1 score line. Jon Banks picked up man of the match honors. With this win the Anzacs solidified their fifth spot in the rankings. 

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STANDINGS

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Shanghai International Football League

 

Visit the official SIFL website to find out more.http://www.eteamz.com/SIFL/

Tom Bus